• YOU GET TO CHOOSE NOW

    "Pain, whether from the battlefield, the streets, childhood, or other terrible experiences, hollows us out, leaving a crack where something good was taken. It’s a betrayal, not just from the event, but from the loss of innocence itself.
    And I believe we can lose our innocence more than once."
    — Shelly Harlow
    Pain Changes People, Havok Journal

    HELPING INDIVIDUALS HEAL AND RECLAIM THEIR LIVES

    To schedule an appointment

    Call or text now 240-620-1038

  • About Me

    I offer trauma recovery coaching to individuals experiencing a wide range of symptoms resulting from childhood and adult traumas. I've provided compassionate and intuitive care to my clients for over 25 years, helping them heal from trauma while learning how to manage their symptoms and grow in their lives and relationships. As a respected and recognized professional I specialize in treating complex post-traumatic stress, dissociative disorders, early childhood abuse and neglect, and military traumas. My work includes those who have experienced mass shootings, environmental disaster and mass casualty events, such as working with a specialized cohort of medical and mental health team members for survivors of the Lahaina wildfires in Maui, 2023. As the mother of 2 U.S. Army combat veterans, I have been committed to supporting veterans, military families, first responders, and childhood trauma survivors since 2001.

    I hold dual degrees in Counseling Psychology and Mental Health, along with certificates in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Trauma Treatment, and Veterans Counseling, with decades of experience and training as an Addictions Counselor working in a wide variety of treatment settings from 2000–2022.

    As a published author, my writing is focused on healing from childhood and military trauma, helping others to understand the roots of their symptoms while working to reduce the stigma around mental health diagnoses. Some of my writings are featured in 'Voice of the Veteran Community' - Havok Journal.

    Having worked in the mental health and addictions field for so many years, I am a firm believer in the fact that we are our own most powerful healers. My background and personal history are the foundation for my work with others, and for my writing. I remain a cynical optimist whose interest and admiration of all humans has never faltered, knowing how flawed and amazing we all are.



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  • WHAT CLIENTS ARE SAYING

    “I can’t say enough about how deeply grateful I am to have stumbled across Shelly’s path 7 years ago. She is one of those rare people who truly sees me — not just the version I present to the world, but the parts I’m still trying to understand myself. Kind, gentle, and incredibly grounded, she doesn’t rush me. Instead, she walks beside me in the dark patiently and without judgment to help me carry what’s too heavy on my own. Often times I feel stuck in a trauma loop, but Shelly helps bring me back to the present where I have found freedom and love that is different.” - JW

    "I met with Shelly weekly for about a year after the devastating loss of our beloved son to PTSD and suicide. To say she saved my life is no exaggeration. Her unflinching honesty and uncanny ability to help me “hold up a mirror” and confront and embrace all of my feelings, allowed me to then equip myself with exactly the tools I needed to survive, and literally changed my life. These skills have continued to serve me as I navigate the new normal of my changed life. We continue to meet, albeit less frequently, these many years later. I could never repay what she did for me."

    - MB

    "I have been counseled by Shelly for over five years following a significant incident that occurred in my life. In a law enforcement profession, many officers forego counseling or mental health treatment for the fear of potential impact on their career or the perception that it may hold stigma with fellow coworkers. During my first meeting with Shelly, I clearly knew she was aware of this struggle and unique experiences and trauma military and law enforcement/first responder professionals encounter compared to the general public.

    I am comfortable speaking to her, and our sessions have helped me not only overcome my initial issue, but has been very beneficial dealing with past and current career and personal struggles. Not only do I consider her one of the best mental health professionals/counselors I have ever encountered, but consider her a perfect confidant that really cares about her clients.

    I would highly recommend working with Shelly if you are in need of counseling. You won’t be disappointed". - BC

    “I met Shelly for the first time when I was seeking help for my drinking problem. I went through a 30-day program and went home thinking, “I’ve got this”. My sobriety lasted about 2 months.

    As a police officer with over 28 years of service—and a background in fire/rescue—I’ve seen and experienced things most people only hear about on the news. Every spring, memories of trauma would flood in—friends killed in the line of duty, my own involvement in a fatal shooting, and years spent supporting survivors. I drank to not think. The only way I could sleep was to drink until I forgot or passed out. I got good at hiding pain and never showing emotion. But eventually, I hit rock bottom.

    While waiting to check into rehab, Shelly sat beside me. The compassion and understanding in her eyes gave me hope—and a second chance at life. As we worked together, I came to know the Look—the ‘I know you’re holding back’ look that made it almost impossible not to open up. She knew how to get past my armor without making me shut down. I’ve been sober a long time now, and Shelly played a big part in that. She helped me find the part of myself I thought was gone, and I’ll always be grateful that she never gave up on me." – Anonymous

    "I tell people all the time that going to therapy was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself—and I feel incredibly fortunate to have found Shelly right away. Putting into words the impact Shelly has had on my life feels nearly impossible. Her style just fits. She has a remarkable gift for helping you connect with the strengths that already exist within you, and then thoughtfully pairs those with new skills that foster growth and healing. With Shelly, the process never feels like “work,” yet I’ve experienced an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. My time working together with her has been nothing short of transformative. Today, I’m leading a life I genuinely didn’t believe was possible when we started eight years ago. My career, my relationships, and how I view myself—I feel like I’m living my dream.

    All you need with Shelly is a curious mindset, and from there, the sky truly is the limit" - LS

    “Working with Shelly has allowed me to imagine a different life for myself, and her insight and steady guidance has given me the courage to live it. Shelly can really ‘see’ you, and this makes a huge difference. I’m living a life now I would not have thought possible without her guidance.”- MP

    When I started working with Shelly I was pretty hopeless. My life was a seemingly endless cycle of being hijacked by my emotions. Depression, anxiety, rage and terror were my constant companions. I tried everything to fix myself- therapy, medication, electroconvulsive therapy, treatment centers to name a few.

    Shelly gently explained that I wasn’t broken or crazy. She treated me with kindness and dignity while I learned about trauma and its impact on me. She treated me with the utmost respect. I can tolerate my emotions. Thanks to Shelly I’m no longer at the mercy of my emotions. Life doesn’t feel so frightening all the time. I have hope. - JM

  • “I believe every client has strengths that deserve to be recognized. My role is to help you uncover those strengths and build a path toward healing.”

    Trauma Experiences Don't Always Look, or Feel the Same

    Traumatic or toxic stress can often show up as a wide range of symptoms. You may see it in relationship and job conflicts, disordered eating, self-injury, memory issues, substance abuse, dissociation, and even physical illnesses. These struggles can impact every part of a person’s life, affecting how they relate, feel, and function day-to-day. Many survivors have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Addiction, ADHD, Borderline or Bipolar Disorders, Depression or PTSD—frequently without realizing these symptoms are rooted in past events or having this explained to them by their provider.

    In sessions, I provide highly individualized non-judgmental support, offering guidance, education, and skill-building with managing these symptoms and emotions, while encouraging and teaching self-competency. Working together with you, I will respect you as the expert in your own life. When you begin viewing yourself as the expert in your own life, it leads to choosing your own path forward to growth and healing. For many people, this creates hope and a new perspective on what the future might hold.

    More traditional approaches used by some providers often are more directive and statistically tend to be less successful with this type of work. In sessions, when a provider who has not lived through your experiences begins instructing you in the 'best' way to do things, it can understandably push buttons and create resistance. So many of my clients come to me after feeling stuck with these more mainstream approaches and the providers who often focus solely on diagnoses or medications, questionnaires and homework exercises.

    My work with you is grounded in a strengths-based, holistic, trauma-informed and aware model. This can provide a path to empowerment and change that comes from within yourself. Having specialized training by some of the best, internationally known clinicians in the trauma and dissociation field, has provided me with both knowledge and experience in these successful approaches. I will work collaboratively with you to recognize and build upon practical skills you can use in addressing and overcoming the challenges impacting your quality of life. The RICH framework -Respect, Information, Connection, and Hope- which was developed by the Sidran Trauma Institute as part of their Risking Connection® curriculum, remains one of the cornerstones of my work.

    "I see these principles as essential in working with clients, as it promotes safety, trust and empowerment within the therapeutic relationship and the work that is done."

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